Down Doobie Doo Down DOWN. . .

Waking up IS Hard to Do! At least around my house! It’s getting that time again! Yep, it is back to my “real job”. For those of you that don’t know, I started this little ditty a couple months ago with HIGH HOPES. I had the ability to “Lasso the Moon” and nothing was going to prevent me from using this as the perfect vehicle to champion my “CAUSE”. To date I have generated roughly . . . wait a sec, I’ve got it written down somewhere. . . . Oh yeah, JACK SQUAT! Which is okay, I guess, considering that is exactly what my wife says I am offering to those of you who have hitched a ride on the “Go Figg’r” bandwagon . . . I would like to think that I’ve provided you with not only some spirited social commentary but a real “Rip-Roaring Good Time!” (I’m delusional) But alas, it is back to the GRIND tomorrow.
I am STILL continuing my journey towards “CELEBRITY”, but unlike those toiling in HOLLYWOOD as waiters and waitresses, limo drivers, nannies, CPA’s and Network Television Studio “Executives”, waiting for their “big breaks”, I sadly must return to the profession I chose to pay the bills . . . I am returning to be the “Best of the Best!” and “Give it my All!” I will not rest on my laurels (because I don’t know what those are). I am going to “Take On the World!” as only a true and devoted “PUBLIC SCHOOL BUS DRIVER” can! Yes, as difficult as it is to believe, I am a “STATE EMPLOYEE” . . . Shocking, huh? You’d think someone as “Gifted with the Gab” would have secured a more righteous gig.(Like undertaker) Yeah, me too, but when you’ve got a wife and four kids and no other options, you tend to take just about anything. Don’t get me wrong! I enjoy driving a bus with kids that generally hate me, hate their parents, hate each other, hate school and hate just about everything that didn’t hate them first. . . Oh, except being tremendously ANNOYING. . . . They LOVE that! Sounds like a bad career decision doesn’t it? Well, remember! This isn’t my first choice. (and the mortuary has this whole apprenticeship thing that creeps me out!)
No that would be . . . Jimmy Buffett. Not as a career. . .As a BEING! The next closest thing I can think of closer to my generation in “years”, (but not intelligence) would be Sammy Hagar. How bad – as in good – would that be, huh? Front for one of the best groups of all time. Make a butt-load of cash, get your “sorry butt” asked to leave, be replaced by the REAL frontman, then retire in relative obscurity to “run a bar” somewhere in a “Tropical Locale”. Your only worry? Making sure you don’t sleep on your back and pull a John Belushi. . . you know the whole, yeah. . .gross.
That would be awesome! . . . But, that’s a fantasy. A Pipe Dream .(also not fully cognitive of that phrase’s origin) Like winning the Lottery in Life. The chances of something like that happening to someone like me are like one in a “GAJILLION to the Infinity Squared”! And that’s . . . . EXACTLY WHAT I”M COUNTING ON!
Why is there only one Kurt Warner story out there? Hmm? A guy plucked from the every day, sent up through the ranks of inferior leagues until he emerges a SUPERSTAR and wins the BIG ONE? Then gets traded, has a few horrible years, ends up in Arizona (of all places) and comes back – ONE MORE TIME and Almost does it ALL OVER AGAIN? THEN gets a “Big Fat Juicy Bone” of a DEAL, which sets him and his girls up for the “rest of his life”, so he can retire in relative obscurity to “pen motivational speeches with Tony Robbins ” somewhere in a “Tropical Locale”? (was that all just ONE question?) And NO, those two are not going anywhere NEAR “CABO WABO”! . . . They are on a different “Level of Consciousness” .
I have been asked, by a few (believe me very few), why as “THE MASTER OF VERBAL SOCK-PUPPETRY”, I have employed the use of “sight gags” in my more recent entries. Why would I “change horses in midstream?” (no, I don’t understand that idiom either) There is a simple explanation to that, and to tell you the truth, I’m relieved it is so simple. I recently had my site both appraised (dollar-wise) and assessed for content (intellectually-wise aka “wise”-wise). To my astonishment the results were,to me . . . INCONCEIVABLE. My site’s net worth was estimated at a measly $4000 something, but that wasn’t the real disappointment – as I’m not really “in this” for the money. (wink) No, it was where I ranked on “Intellectually-Valued Material” . . . Are you ready? Okay, it’s my funeral. The reports “claimed” that this “blog”, that I so highly tout as being presented to you by someone of infinite wisdom,highly advanced breeding and very good table manners is , in fact, written on . . . .“A Jr. High reading level”.Ain’t that a bitch?
Apparently, the mere fact that I don’t understand half of what it is I’m writing, a majority of the time, has been wasted on the people that I asked (free of charge) to accumulate and compile “reams” of reports presented to me via an email (which I still haven’t read completely) from these so-called EXPERTS of Information. First of all, What Schools are taking part in “Blog Reading” as a part of their formal curriculum? And Where are they? If you were to say China or Japan, I might buy it. Those are the types of Jr. High kids I think might be able to grasp the types of “weighty” subject matter I typically include in my efforts. Remember I’m a “PUBLIC SCHOOL BUS DRIVER!” I have access to Public School students on a daily basis and am relatively sure, that in a majority of cases, MY 4 year old reads at their level! She certainly, can “Out-Scrabble” my 18 year old . So whatever these folks were smoking, is obviously . . . very potent.
But to answer the question (from 5 minutes ago) the reason I’ve included visual stimuli for you the reader, is certainly not to “Dumb it Down”. From what I was told. (they’re fools, I say!) It’s already plenty stupid. No, my discerning friends it is to provide you a more Visceral Experience, while getting your “Go Figg’r on! In fact, it is because of the the rise of the need for “Instant Gratification” in society today that I’ve included not only my thoughts (Which are a “Treasure” all their own), but the added benefit for some of the “slower” in the bunch, to LOOK AT THE PRETTY PICTURES!

And isn’t that what I said I wanted to do from the beginning? I want to give you all a show! I thank you for being a part of this experience with me. This IS NOT my “Swan Song”! I think I learned enough about making those kind of proclamations from MJ, thank you. No, I’ll still write every couple days like I have been. I STILL want to be a “CELEBRITY” and think I might have a darn good shot at it if the right person gives me a shot. There are a ZILLION Blogs out there. I have no illusions. There are a lot of really talented and funny people out there. But like I’ve also said, “Blogging” ain’t really what I want to be known for. I want to make a difference.
To “the few” that I was talking about? Thanks for the comments. The rest of you that stumbled on to my “pet project”? Keep reading . . .I’m really just getting started. Subscribe to the feed, to me on Twitter and follow me wherever you can and whenever you can! Get the WORD OUT! This boy wants to PARTY! . . . But tomorrow. I get up a 4 AM. Nothing glamorous about that! But I do Make it LOOK GOOD! . . . Hey, I hear that Stephen Spielberg is remaking “Harvey”! Maybe he’ll give me Jimmy Stewart’s part! I might just get that “Sit Down With Spielberg” after all! Jimmy Stewart, heh? Might just get to “Lasso the Moon”, too. Buffalo Gals Won’t You Come Out Tonight? . . . (couldn’t afford the clip)
TIL THEN . . .”GO FIGG’R!”
Peace out-Later
Dan
(Keep Votin’,Give me a Holler or maybe a Dollar!) thank you

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