I’m Feelin’ Froggy…Bundt Cake Anyone?

I Love the “Urban Dictionary”. It has been a valuable and steadfast ally in my fight against the Establishment. By that, I refer to anyone or anything that deems itself superior to me in any way,and as a result treats me, or those I Love, like complete “donkey excrement”, right under our noses and behind our backs! Very Contortionistic… that Establishment. Whenever I find it necessary to dole out a verbal tongue-lashing that those in the Establishment have coming, I can always rely on this handy reference to give me material that will leave them scratching their heads and allow me to carry on about my business, unfettered and “BUTTMUNCH-FREE” .

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I enjoy more than proving my vast superior intellect to the Upper Crust, than by stumping and affronting them in the traditional manner. But if I can insult them with language from the “hood”, all the better. (Let me state at the onset that I am about as white in terms of “urban” as Edgar Winter attending a Knicks game with Paul Ruebens). But I do enjoy a good-natured “ribbing” with the help of some slang. If I can find access to those same “barbs” in Spanish. . .Oh man, then you’ve got Insolent Gold.(insolente oro) Unfortunately, I don’t have a “pocket version” of this handy reference readily available and since I left my former post as. . . (I won’t say it -you’re welcome), I haven’t been hanging out with my Latino brethren so much. So I can’t tell people what they can do with “la madre detras de las siete once“.
Therefore, I’ve found this little project, at times, a good outlet for airing some grievances about those that, would see my hopes and dreams dashed into a million little bite-sized,heart-shaped pieces that they would devour in front of my family and friends, all the while laughing and pointing, taunting and telling them all how much they would rue the day they’d ever placed any faith in me. . .

All Seriousness Aside,
Rather than do parlor tricks for the ELITE, I’ve chosen to try to entertain those of you that can appreciate the struggle. The journey has begun. . .It actually started when I was about 4 and told my folks that I wanted to move to Hollywood. I would put on the plays and MAKE my family participate. I was the class clown. Dad was a preacher, so we moved around a lot. It was like being an Army Brat and I tried to use everything in my arsenal to make friends so that the Bullies (the kid ESTABLISHMENT) wouldn’t kick my ass. As often as I moved around in my childhood, my folks should have just sent me to school in a suit of armor with a note for the teacher. I was a punching bag throughout most of my elementary career.
And you know something about the Education System in the 70’s and 80’s in this country? They didn’t give a hoot about the down-trodden, unpopular or oppressed. Hell, MOST of the bullies were in SPORTS and had the administration so far in their hip pockets, that the coach’s family photos were kept by the 6 year old hard-as-a-rock condoms they’d been carrying around since 3rd grade in their velcro wallets right by their student ID’s and the folded-up report that I wrote for them so they wouldn’t pound me and got an “A” so they could go out for track in the Spring. I eventually beat the Ever-Living Tar out of one of them (when I grew a set) in 10th grade, avoiding years of therapy. But as you can still see, I carry minor baggage. (Danny Cate is a douchebag! okay,I’m done) That’s another story, for another day. My kids tell me not a lot has changed. Whew, THAT’S Comforting!
Back To Topic. . .
Actually, when I was trying to think of a topic for the entry today, I had a lot on my mind. . . as usual. I’ve been keyed up for something all day, but didn’t know how to express it and I really had no idea why I was so jacked up. Maybe, it’s got something to do with the heat. I’m not exactly tolerant of a whole lot, when I can’t close my eyes to rest – for fear my eyelids will melt to my eyeballs, rendering me blind and extremely irritable. Maybe it’s because I’m a couple days away from the end of July and haven’t paid the Rent for the month. Maybe it’s because I’ve been looking for work, with none in sight until my job as PUBLIC SCHOOL BUS DRIVER FOR KIDS! starts up again in September.
Whatever it was I needed a word that would accurately describe how I felt for the day. Was it trepidatious? No. Squirrely? Kind of, but not quite. Scared Out of My Gourd? Too wordy. . .
So what’s a guy to do? Can’t very well ENTERTAIN THE TROOPS without any sort of direction or theme. No agenda or initiative in mind. And to top it all off, I feel so . . .”Froggy”! Yeah, I think that fits. So I looked up the definition in the “Urban Dictionary”. I DO research things ya’ know!? I’m not a COMPLETE “Fountain of Misinformation“! I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t letting anyone down as their “MASTER OF VERBAL SOCK-PUPPETRY”.
To Be jumpy or anxious to do something. Most commonly it refers to situations involving fighting or violence, but it can also refer to any situation involving someone anxiously wanting to do something.
Johnny was feeling froggy, so he drove to the city to find something to do.

Tyrone was feeling froggy, so he jacked Jamal in his ugly face.
Now, I don’t know Tyrone or Jamal, but that mood seems to fit me to a “T”. I’m a pretty passive guy and generally don’t feel this way; but I can honestly say that if a Rich Butt-Munch, Football Coach or Danny Cate were to walk in right now, I’d slap the ugly off their faces! (golpee la cara fea fuera de su).
So my True Blue Fans and loyal followers(mom), I wish you a very good evening and a pleasant tomorrow. I am going to go try and see if I can find the movie “Falling Down” on HULU! Feel Free to Donate to “The CAUSE” we need it!
“The Pitch” is coming soon.
’til then…Go Figg’r!
Peace Out- Later

Creative Commons License

Go Figg’r by Dan Freeburg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at


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