Adam Lambert – “Where’s my Royalty Check from Jimmy Dean?” – Getting “Stiffed” By Sausage Giant

Okay, so maybe I went to the well one too many times with this latest Blog Headline, but you still took a second look didn’t ya? I woke up at the crack of noon to come up with something that would speak to my loyal minions. A topic that hits us all at home. Unless we happen to be (A) A Republican (B) Amish (C) a bum or (D) Adam Lambert. The topic of which I speak is MONEY. Let me start by apologizing to Mr. Lambert. I started this blog, a few nights ago, with a clear-cut mission in mind. The mission, of course, was money. Fame? Yes. Stardom? Sure. Clout? Undoubtedly. But not without sending my kids to college and owning a small island, first. 

I don’t know how many of you readers understand how advertising works in this age of “Twitter” and those “iphone thingies”, but it is a powerful thing. An entity, all its own that can make or break a “little project” such as mine. Let me give you  an example: Prior to yesterday’s blog, in my first couple entries, I had not used “One Salacious” reference to a STAR (or in this case a reasonable facsimile thereof). I also had not had the proud backing of FORMIDABLE ADVERTISERS on my side. All that changed yesterday with one mouse “point-and-click”. I signed up for a thing on Google called, “AdSense”. Those of you with a blog already,I’m sure are familiar with this idea. Let me apologize to you in advance when the advertisers pull their ads from your sites and get on board with their “Meal Ticket”. I’M TRULY SORRY! But, there’ll be something big in your future, I can feel it!

But back to ME. Just to illustrate the sheer power of the ADVERTISING JUGGERNAUT known simply as: gofiggr.blogspot.com/, after I made my two strategic and intregal marketing manuevers, I sat back in astonishment, as my readership grew. And now the kicker. You know that AdSense thing? They have a box that you can watch (real time – mind you) as people peruse how often people view the advertising that you strategically place on your site. For you laymen and women, I’ll try to explain. Every time someone goes on you blog’s website and reads, they aren’t just reading your latest offerings. They are also being subjected to small mind-altering and brain-warping advertisements! So EVERY TIME someone reads your blog and finds you extremely uninformative or “not quite that engaging” they can click on an advertisement -Which Makes You Money! Provided they don’t just hit the back arrow. But Just Think of the Possibilites!
I wallowed in my lackluster numbers the first couple nights like an NBC executive, but then I found the key, and I’m sure it’s gonna’ right this ship my friends! Every time someone clicks on an ad I get roughly .0005 cents. Now, by stark contrast, the “Networks” can charge thousands of dollars for a spot (millions during the Super Bowl).But think how many people read blogs? Well mine might not be the greatest example, but at last count I was up to about 13 cents! Now multiply that by the million or so readers I’m projected to have by the end of August. . .well even you can do the math. I feel reinvigorated. I think I might very well be on pace to break some sort of internet record! I’ll have to Google that! No, no you guys do it, just don’t forget to use the Google Search right next to my blog here—-} I’ll just be home “raking in the dough”.
All seriousness aside,
I did notice something mildly amusing when I checked to see that I still had no “followers” on my blog. When I looked at the forementioned ADVERTISING on my site they were ads from some very suspicious bedfellows: Oscar Mayer, Some random Sausage Organization and The Minnesota Board of Tourism. Now I understand that whoever “grants” people ads on their sites are a little “willy nilly” about just giving those to anyone with a pulse (or Social Security Number, except in California); but I found it strange. Do the advertisers just pluck random words directly from your blogs to place the advertising? Or do they each have a crack staff of BLOG READING EXECUTIVES that have their finger on the pulse of America?
Strange times my friends. Opens doors to a whole other group of crack pots out there “CONSPIRACY THEORISTS”. But that’s a subject for another day. 
I feel like I’m forgetting something. MONEY? Yeah that was the topic, but as so often, I strayed a little off point. Well at least you know I want some, right? 
Oh I know. . . Mr. Adam Lambert. Poor guy! You’ve been dragged through the dirt these last few days. But just like the Phoenix, I see you rising from these ashes like a “dainty butterfly”. You’ll be just fine kid. And I’m sorry if I have to use your name and off-color headlines to boost my readership. (now 11) But it’s my turn to be famous. . .(14 cents ca-ching!) Can’t wait to see who my sponsors are tomorrow!
Peace Out – Later
D A N
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