(And Other Tell-Tale Signs a Storm is On its Way) Celebrity Edition

As I was saying. . . 

I’d like to mention a few more of the precious and life-altering moments I and my family spent in Venice Beach. 
Let me first start with our accomodations (if I have to use spell-check on this thing one more time,I swear!) . . .and I STILL spelled it wrong! Anyway:Our lodgings. Upon arrival to our beloved Muscle Beach and Stoner Hatchery, we had the task of finding a suitable room which would also provide a safe haven of rest for the newest addition to our already fully-LARGE family. We needed a place that would take our shelter-saved, long-nippled mongrel of a Chihuahua, Maya. Now, I only point out the aesthetics of our beloved canine’s maternal mammaries to foreshadow a point, and not to make fun of  what was obviously “one litter too many”. It wasn’t her fault. In fact we thought it was somewhat endearing when the people at the animal shelter referred to her as “Mama” . But this pet-purchasing decision, just like everything else in my, and my wife’s, lives to this point; was just par for the course. Not real noteworthy. The dog is loved by my family. I just think we don’t always get to make top-shelf decisions with bottom drawer means.
Thus the search for a motel. 
My wife, being “In the Know”, made the original decision. “We’re taking the dog,” she said, quite matter-of-factly. “Yes, yes, LA is full of dogs. You’ve seen it every time we go to the beach”. In fact, I will have to say I do remember last year,when we went, a large golden retriever snatched my younger son’s McGriddles from his hungry clutches in a park. Being all the more memorable, because it was our final swan song at the beach before we loaded the minivan and headed. . .eck. . . home. Snapping out of this Rockwell-esque daydream, I hastily agreed. Which landed us with our first reality in Venice this go-around. NOBODY TAKES PETS!!! (I think pets are actually part of a “Grandfather” clause, if your family didn’t have pets before 1956, you’re outta’ luck).
I being the resourceful “Alpha Male ” in the bunch, made the absurd suggestion after being turned away from just the first 6 or 18 motel/hotels, that we might actually try to sneak the dog into one. Perhaps under the cover of night. (Or in a duffel bag). This idea didn’t fly with my constituents (my wife), who felt that; getting lost somewhere in a city that didn’t look like we belonged in it for (3 hours and 17 minutes) was a much better alternative. When everyone was sufficiently agitated at one another and we had grown tired of the sight of each other exhaling, we compromised. We paid twice as much as we could have for a room. BUT, we got to bring the dog!      (in a duffel bag).
If you’re a frequent reader of this blog (humor me) then you’ll undoubtedly understand our first day and night in Venice Beach were memorable. Although, as I often explain to my wife, “It’s no different than everyone else in this country trying to get by”. Noteable Exception: We’re Us and You’re, well. . . you. 
Our second day at Venice Beach (I feel like I need to address this place with some sort of reverence every time I talk about it) was pretty standard “Griswald fare”.  No one defecating in our newly cleaned outdoor tepid whirlpool. (By no one, I mean “Our Brood”; I wouldn’t have tested that water with an industrial pool-stick). The sun actually came out. (Had I mentioned the first day was dismal and overcast)? The drunks and floozies, that had been seeking a little “together-time” in adjacent rooms to ours had long since hit the dusty road in search of more “MORTAL KOMBAT”. So all in all, it was looking up for us on a brand new day that only promised brand new hope for a better tomorrow. (Yeah ‘cuz we still had today to contend with.)
All seriousness aside, we ended up spending the majority of the next day on a State Park beach near Malibu. We saw a seal, an underwater cave, tidepools and even some dolphins. The only true drama came when I asked my daughter (11) if she’d been in a particular place with her mother, when she’d been somewhere else, and she said. . .” Sure”. Pre-teen cryptic language? Or is this just the precursor to something I want absolutely nothing to do with? Female Puberty!?!
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I was just getting comfortable looking forward to my wife’s menopause.
So I guess this is the portion of my blog when I get into a little new business. . .
I had an idea last night. Not a very good one, maybe, but I had one. You should have seen my wife, she was so proud. That I had an idea; not actually of me. 
There is every scam going in this world to take you for all you’ve got. Hell, I’ve fallen for most of them myself. Rather than let someone take you for a ride and get absolutely nothing in return, I’ve got a proposal. . . Let me work out the kinks. . . 
I don’t know how this whole blog thing really works. I’m not even sure anyone has really read anything I’ve done thus far, But I’ve Got A Dream! I’ve not even really probably tried to promote myself in the right ways or contacted the right people, but I Want A Shot America!!!(or any other countries, continents or provinces inhabited by someone with a dream). I am a married, father of four now residing in California. I came out here about 7 years ago to pursue a freelance art career, writing, screenwriting, acting . . .ANYTHING.
I’m well aware that years ago, a young man decided to start a grass root movement of a campaign, with the hopes of meeting Drew Barrymore and having a date. I, on the other hand, suggest something far less sinister and a little more rewarding for you. . .the reader. Unlike this fine young man, whose name escapes me, I want the opportunity to do something for you. I want to be able to have a “Sit Down” with someone Drew is very familiar with. . .”Stephen Spielberg”. But what I am proposing is a tad more far-reaching, however. Should I unsuccessfully make a convincing pitch to Mr. Spielberg or any of his friends at DreamWorks, I would like the opportunity to continue trying my hand at writing, acting, and animation in Los Angeles for 1 YEAR. I am currently a school bus driver for a city in California, but because of the economy, have been able to pursue the dream I’ve had since I was a kid. To create a FULL LENGTH FEATURE ANIMATED CARTOON. 
I have over 20 years of character development (cartoon characters, not my own; my character has taken 38 years), storylines, and even a toy-design background. I’m talented, sometimes funny and sometimes a mess just like the rest of us. I’ll try to show you that all of us are the same out here. So isn’t it time to help one of us MAKE IT? I don’t even want to make it for that long. Just have a movie make $200 million, get a piece of the royalties, pay for my kids’ schooling and retire into obscurity, like Bridget Fonda.
But what a ride it would be right? I WOULD enjoy making cartoons,acting,etc. for a long time, but I see what the industry does to these people. At what cost? I just want to make people laugh. We see American Idol every year churning out stars, that we vote on. I just want a chance to be voted on for making someone smile. 
I haven’t worked out the details of what it is I’m exactly proposing to readers. Like I said I’m not that adept at the whole blogging thing. I was thinking about getting a post office box for donations. Headlining a Blog “Make ‘Me” a Celebrity for just a $1 a day”. I just want to get relocated to LA and start shaking things up.
Everybody thinks they can do it. I’ve got a lot on the line. The futures of 4 great kids and a wife I love the best, riding on me. People used to (and still) tell me all the time, “Why are you doing this?”, instead of my writing,drawing, acting, etc. Bottom line is you do what pays the bills, just like everyone else. 
I will write more tomorrow. I hope I didn’t just alienate a whole LEGION of new recruits. I’ll have details and some smiles for all. I want to figure out how to make this dream work.
So my friends the Celebrity Edition of my blog ends with this celebrity asking you to keep reading. Details still to come.
Peace out – Later

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